Then came the trial: she doubted her vocation which
did not seem so attractive now and she did not feel that same apostolic
zeal. The simple work without any show, seemed unbearable to her …
The future made her afraid, she suffered from
scruples, doubted the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist … What to do:
give up this road? Return home? That would be so easy.
Marie de Saint Just was suffering. She prayed and
opened her heart to Mary of the Passion, her superior general. In all
loyalty, she revealed to her the torture she was going through and said:
"I am nothing and did not know
it".
The words that Mary of the Passion asked her to pray
constantly were those of Jesus: "Father, may your will, not mine,
be done".
For several years the young sister who did not know
the way of the great mystics, continued to suffer … clay kneaded by
the potter. Helped by Mary of the Passion, she did not recoil but
learned to stand firm by the cross with all her faith and all her
strength. Little by little she overcame temptation and peace reigned in
the depths of her being.
Her mother's death added to
her sorrow, but God's will became
her strength. In Vanves she learned how to use the printing machines, to
make shoes for her sisters and to perform a thousand other little tasks
to help and sustain the community.
After her Perpetual Vows, she was sent to China. She
described the voyage humorously and on her arrival put all her talents
at the service of the community and the orphans.
She
wrote:
"I feel I have always
lived here. I thank the Blessed Virgin to whom I have always prayed, and
it is a consolation for me to tell you, Mother, that my trials have
ended."
God gave peace to this missionary. Soon she would
bear the supreme witness of Love. |